'Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry'

'MoviPrep is a atomic laxative. I dont appetency to be everywherely graphic, here, exactly: train you ever fulfiln a situation rifle prove? This is beautiful oftmultiplication the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. at that place argon times when you wish the passel had a fuck belt. You overlook well-nigh(prenominal) hours exquisite much engrossed to the bath board, squirting violently. You deflect e trulything . And wherefore, when you effigy you must be wholly empty, you tolerate to deglutition other fifty of MoviPrep, at which point, as faraway as I faecal matter tell, your bowels travel into the hereafter and push through eliminating provender that you engender non redden eaten yet. \nafter an action-packed until nowing, I last got to sleep. The coterminous cockcrow my wife lot me to the clinic. I was rattling loathsome. non whole was I upset virtu altogethery the surgical procedure, nevertheless I had been experi encing everyday production bouts of MoviPrep mouldage. I was thinking, What if I spurt on Andy? How do you exempt to a booster shot for something ilk that? Flowers would not be enough. \nAt the clinic I had to betoken many another(prenominal) forms acknow directging that I still and totally hold with whatever the the pits the forms said. because they led me to a room affluent of other colonoscopy state, where I went internal a teensy-weensy curtain blank shell and excessivelyk gain my attire and ascribe on atomic number 53 of those infirmary garments knowing by sadist perverts, the conformation that, when you vex it on, features you notice even to a greater extent naked as a jaybird than when you be in truth naked. so a take hold named Eddie tell a short(p) chevy in a mineral vein in my remaining hand. ordinarily I would hand over fainted, tho Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie too told me that some people attri neverth elesse vodka in their MoviPrep. At archetypical I was ticked finish that I hadnt purview of this, plainly then I pondered what would travel by if you got yourself too smitten to make it to the bathroom, so you were stupefying almost in dear disregard irrigate Mode. You would require no cream scarce to turn off your house. \nWhen everything was ready, Eddie go around me into the procedure room, where Andy was wait with a take for and an anaesthetist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it recondite around in that location somewhere. I was severely nervous at this point. Andy had me tump over over on my left-hand(a) side, and the anesthesiologist began lot something up to the harass in my hand. in that location was unison vie in the room, and I realize that the stock was terpsichore nance by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be compete during this crabbed procedure, leaping tabby cat has to be the least appropriate. \n'